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This is day two together of our look at 1 Corinthians chapter 7. We're going to
look at verses 10 to 16 today. This chapter has some of the clearest direction
about marriage in God's Word, some of the clearest direction about divorce in
God's Word.

Now we're just touching on this as we walk through this chapter this week. I'm
prayerful that if you're desiring to work on your marriage or you're struggling
with the issue of divorce, I'm prayerful that you'll pick up some books that
focus even more strongly on the words in this chapter so you can really study
through what God's Word has to say about this. I've talked to many, many people
who have faced the temptation of divorce or are facing it just then, and I've
found that sitting down and simply reading through these verses, verses 10 to 16
together, often gives all the answers that you need, the beginning point.

So I'd like to walk through these just verse by verse together. What does God's
Word have to say about marriage and what does it have to say about divorce?
Verses 10 and 11, "To the married, I give this command, not I, but the Lord.

A wife must not separate from her husband, but if she does, she must remain
unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband, and a husband must not divorce
his wife. " Paul begins these verses by saying this isn't just my command, this
is Jesus' command. That means he had direct words from Jesus on this.

The Sermon on the Mount, Jesus talks about it. The two shall become one. God has
said you shall not divorce.

And Paul says to those in Corinth who are asking about this, based on what Jesus
has taught us, that means a wife must not separate from her husband. Now they
lived in a day in which only a husband could legally divorce his wife, but a
wife could separate herself from her husband. So he says a wife must not
separate herself, must not go to live somewhere else.

But then the strangest thing happens in verse 11, Paul says, but if she does,
that makes you scratch your head. He's just said you must not do this, but then
he says, but if you do. These verses remind us of the realities of a marriage,
that the truth is God has his direction and commands, but also you're facing the
realities of what's going on in a marriage.

So a wife must not separate, but in the realities of a marriage, maybe it's a
circumstance, very clear circumstance of abuse, where she has to get herself to
a place of safety, or a husband who will not see the devastation that his
alcoholism is creating in the family. So she has to show him that by time of
separation. Paul says even if that must happen, but if that must happen, you
separate in order to reconcile.

You don't separate in order to divorce. Paul says if she does, you remain
unmarried, and you be reconciled to your husband. God's word on this is very
clear to the husband.

He says the husband must not divorce his wife. God's saying to us very clearly
here, in the reality of our fallen world, that divorce is always the worst
solution. In fact, in these verses, there's really no allowance for divorce
amongst God's children, amongst believers.

In verses 10 and 11, Paul tells us it's not an option with a believer. In verses
12 to 13, he's going to show us it's not an option if your spouse is an
unbeliever. So when leaving begins to trickle into the back of your mind,
leaving your marriage, as the possible solution to all your problems, scripture
clearly says that's not God's solution.

Divorce is never a solution. Divorce is always a problem. I realize we live in a
world where there are divorces, but that statement, divorce is always a problem.

You might think, really? How could you say something like that? Well, just talk
to people who've been divorced, who've been touched by divorce, who've been
personally through a divorce.

They'll tell you, it is a problem. I wish it had never happened. I'm paying that
it never had to happen.

You want to know the problems of divorce? Just talk to someone who has seen one
of their children go through one, who's had to face one of their own lives. Now,
as we talk about this, does the fact that divorce is wrong mean that Christ
cannot forgive, cannot restore?

Absolutely not. He forgives the wrong just as effectively as he does any other
wrong. But the fact that he forgives does not keep us, should never keep us from
proclaiming the pain of a divorce and the value of staying together even in a
tough marriage.

What does God's Word have to say about this? God says, "You must not divorce. "
Now, as we walk through this week, we're going to see some more clarity about
what God has to say about this, beginning in verses 12 and 13.

As you go on and read what God's Word says, the verses say, "To the rest I say
this, I, not the Lord. If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she's
willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband
who is not a believer and he's willing to live with her, she must not divorce
him.

" Now Paul starts by saying, "I'm saying this, not the Lord. " What does he mean
there? He means he has no direct words from Jesus, no direct quote of Jesus on
this.

Yet, we know that he's writing under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit here. So
although he can't quote Jesus on this, what he says is just as authoritative as
what Jesus says. It's just as from the Spirit as what Jesus says.

Now, Paul didn't always speak from the Spirit. Jesus always did. But as he was
writing this letter, he was.

And so, inspired by the Spirit, he says, "If you're married to an unbeliever,
what does the Scripture say about that? " It says, "Don't divorce. If they're
willing to stay with you, don't divorce.

" Someone who is in a marriage where both are unbelievers, and that is what was
happening And then one of the spouses, the husband of the wife, became a
follower of Christ. And now they're a follower, and their husband, their wife,
is not. What's the answer then?

Paul says it's the same answer. You must not divorce. But he does say this.

He says, "If she is willing. " If he is willing. You cannot force somebody
else's will.

It's one of the truths around this painful subject of divorce. As much as you
may not want a divorce, someone else may be willing a divorce, may choose a
divorce. We're going to see some clearer teaching on that in just a moment.

But before that, Paul talks about the deeper truth behind all of this. Why you
wouldn't want to leave an unbelieving spouse when he says this in verses 14 to
16. And especially verse 14 here is going to make you scratch your head.

Here's what he has to say. Then down in verse 16. How do you know wife, whether
you will save your husband?

Or how do you know husband, whether you will save your wife? Now that last part,
verse 16, I understand that one. If you stay together, you're a believer, your
spouse is not, you're going to have an opportunity to lead your husband, your
wife, to the Lord.

If you get divorced, obviously you will not have that opportunity. Someone else
might, but you won't. Not only do I understand that truth, I have seen that
truth lived out many, many, many times where one spouse becomes a believer, the
other is not.

They go through a time of struggling, it may be months, sometimes I've seen it
be years. And then finally the other spouse comes and knows Jesus Christ and the
family is united in following him. I've seen the joy of that so many times.

I've seen the pain during the waiting time, but I've also seen the joy. So that
part I understand. It's the first part, verse 14, that I don't completely
understand.

An unbelieving husband sanctified through his wife, an unbelieving wife
sanctified through her husband, and then this about children. They would be
unclean except for the fact that you have somehow stayed together. What is that
about?

I have to say, first of all, there's some mystery in what's being talked about
here, the mystery of a relationship and marriage. And maybe it's good to admit
that. There's something deeper going on in your marriage and in your parenting
than you know, than you're just happening to live together under the same house.

There's something deeper in your unity than you even understand. That's why it's
more worth fighting for your marriage than you realize. This really addresses
the question.

Paul's addressing a question of the Corinthians here, he says this at the
beginning. It addresses the question, if your spouse is not a Christian,
wouldn't it be better, you can just see how somebody would think this, to
divorce them, so that they could go live with an unbeliever and I could find a
believer and marry them? Wouldn't it be better for them?

They wouldn't have to live with me and my new faith in Christ, and wouldn't it
be better for me because then my family would be complete and holy? Behind what
Paul is talking about here, and I want you to hear this if you're in a marriage
where one of you is a believer and the other is not. Behind what Paul is talking
about here is this.

How many people does it take to make a marriage to make a family blessed by God?
Paul is saying here, just one, sanctified by just one, blessed by just one. Your
faith alone brings the holiness and the blessing of God to your entire family.

Now, it doesn't take away the struggle that you have two different worldviews,
and it doesn't make your husband, your wife a Christian, that's their choice,
but it does bring God's blessing to your family. Verse 14 holds this amazing
truth. The influence of Christ will win out over the influence of the world in
your home.

This influence is more powerful. Greater is he who is in you than he who is in
the world. So the idea that I have to divorce this unbelieving spouse in order
to bring God's blessing to my family, Paul says here, that is not true.

God's blessing is already there. Amidst the struggles, by the way, you'd have
struggles even if you were both believers, believe it or not, even amidst the
struggles, God's blessing is there. Now, Paul just walks us through this.

What if you don't want to leave them? You choose not to leave them, but they
choose to leave you. Paul clearly answers that in verse 15.

Verse 15 says, "But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. " A believing man
or woman is not bound in such circumstances. God has called us to live in peace.

If the unbeliever leaves, Paul says. It's interesting in these verses that Paul
does not even consider the possibility of a Christian divorce, two Christians
deciding to divorce, because divorce is impossible when both parties are living
under the Lordship of Christ. I really believe that.

I believe that. That it is impossible as we live under the Lordship of Christ,
but I've also seen the pain of that. That we go through years of living on our
own selfishness or for our own plans, and then it's become so difficult to save.

What happens if you want to save it? Even amidst those struggles, and your
spouse says, "No, I'm walking away. " If the unbeliever leaves, you're not under
bondage.

I think that applies also if you're a believer, and your spouse is acting like
an unbeliever, and they're walking away. You're not under bondage. You're called
to live in peace.

In this case, Paul is saying, "You let them leave, and eventually you're free to
remarry. You cannot force somebody else's will. " I know how we can trick
ourselves with this, and we can try to make them want to leave, and then say it
was their choice to leave.

You've got to search your own heart on this. This is where it's between you and
Jesus, you talking to him. But in the depth of your soul, when you know, "I'm
not perfect.

I made a lot of mistakes, but I wanted to make that marriage work," and they
left. Is there ever a time when you could be free to remarry? Scripture says,
"Yes.

" Now Paul's going to say in these verses, "I think it might be better, though,
to stay single. We're going to see that later. " So God's judgment sometimes is,
"No.

" God's wisdom is, "It may not be right. You have the freedom to marry, you have
the freedom not to marry," in that case. That's what Scripture teaches.

As you and I have walked through these verses, it's very clear from the very
beginning that God says, "Divorce for a believer is not an option. " It's very
clear that he says, "When you, as a believer, marry, you lock the door and you
throw away the key. You've made a decision based on the command of God to fight
through anything, because you know that divorce, in the end, is always a
problem.

It's a sin. Now God can forgive that sin, but nothing good can come out of it.
So you always fight for your marriage.

And as you fight, as you fight for that marriage, if the other person stops
fighting, then you can't fight for them, but you can continue to fight for it
yourself. And if the other person even walks away, then in the forgiveness of
Christ, you can continue to fight for what is right in your life. That's the
key.

You're always looking to Jesus saying, "Jesus, what's the right thing for me to
do? " Now there are obviously many questions about this, and we don't have time
this week to cover all of them, but tomorrow we're going to take a look at a few
more of those. But today, today I'd like to end by praying for the health of our
marriages, for the health of the marriages of those that you know.

Would you pray with me? Jesus, you made marriage, and marriage is two imperfect
people in a relationship, so it's certainly not perfect, but you tell us that
it's a picture of who you are and your love for us, and you tell us that as we
come together in marriage, there is a holiness to it, a blessedness in it that's
beyond our even understanding. And so Lord, I pray you would bless my marriage,
the marriage of each person listening right now.

We pray together that you'd bless the marriages of each person that we know.
Bless those marriages with strength and communication. Bless those marriages
with the willingness to fight even when things get tough, and bless those
marriages in a way that the world could see something of what your love is like,
Jesus.

We pray this in your name, Amen.