This transcript was generated by whisper.ai.

This is day three of our look through 2 Corinthians chapter 11. We're talking
this week about how do you set a relationship right? What are the choices you
can make that can open the door to the relationship being set right?

This could be over a long-standing issue with someone. This could be over
something that just happened a few days ago or even today. What do you do?

Be jealous. Be jealous for the good in the relationship. Second, be afraid.

Be afraid of the evil of Satan. Third, be humble. And then there's a fourth
thing you do.

And many of these are surprising. They seem counterintuitive at first. Number
four, Paul says, be foolish.

He's talked about it a couple of times already. Be foolish. Listen to what he
has to say in verses 16 to 21, and then we're going to unpack these verses
today.

Verse 16. Once again, don't think that I have lost my wits to talk like this.
But even if you do, listen to me as you would do to a foolish person while I
boast a little.

Such bragging is not something the Lord wants, but I am acting like a fool. And
since others boast about their human achievements, I will too. After all, you
who think you are so wise enjoy listening to fools.

You put up with it when they make you their slaves. Take everything you have.
Take advantage of you.

Put on airs and slap you in the face. I'm ashamed to say that we were not strong
enough to do that. But whatever they dare to boast about, I'm talking like a
fool again.

I can boast about it too. So here's Paul a number of times in these verses
saying, I'm talking like a fool. Now what is Paul acting like a fool?

It's not Paul making some kind of YouTube video or some of those things that you
see. It's very different. Paul, acting like a fool, is saying, I'm going to
boast about some of my human achievements.

I mean, they're talking about all their achievements, well, let me show you some
of the things that I have done. Now, if you think that's prideful, you've got to
stick with me for the end of this chapter and see where he's going to take this.
Paul acting like a fool is him saying, you enjoy listening to fools?

So I'll be a fool if that's what you want. Now, Paul is using biting, sarcastic
humor here, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, by the way. Some people
don't get this because they don't think Paul could ever be funny, but he's
trying to be funny here in a very challenging way.

You enjoy listening to all these teachers who so much of what they say is
foolish? Well, okay, I'll be foolish too. We'll see if you enjoy listening to
that.

What's the point here? The point is, Paul was willing to look like a fool to set
the relationship right. Paul was working with the Corinthians to break something
down.

He was working to break down a codependency that they developed with the faults
of these false apostles. Now, you might be familiar, codependency is more of a
psychological term than a biblical term. The reality of codependency, when you
look at it from a biblical perspective, this term that we use, it means
depending on people instead of depending on God.

Codependency is replacing the dependence that we should have on God with a
dependence on another person. And it never works. You can't depend on another
person.

You can love another person, you can work with another person, but you can't
ultimately depend on another person to meet every need in your life because
they're not perfect. They're not God. Now, if you want to know if these super
apostles, these false teachers and the Corinthians had developed a codependent
relationship, all you have to do is look at verse 20.

It is the definition of being codependent. Let me read it for you again. You put
up with it when they make you their slaves, take everything you have, take
advantage of you, put on airs, and slap you in the face.

That's codependency. They were taking advantage of the Corinthians for their own
benefit. The relationship that these super apostles had with the Corinthians was
not one of love.

It was one of selfishness. Now, by the way, false teachers, cults, they always
build religious codependence. They always want you to depend on them.

They always want you to depend on their little group. They always want you to
feel like everybody else is an outsider and we're the only insiders. And then if
you look at cults, they always ask you to do things that are the craziest
things.

Putting on airs, taking advantage of you kinds of things to prove your
commitment. Why does that happen? Why do people buy that?

Because codependency, depending on another person, a false teacher, another
person, it can be a husband or a wife, it can be one of your children, it can be
one of your parents. Codependency feels like a very safe place because there's
the other person, they're telling me what to do, all I have to do is do what
they're telling me to do and everything will be fine. Of course it's not.

Because you're not made to live dependent on another person. You're made to live
in dependence on God and then in relationship with others. So how do you break
the cycle of codependency in a relationship?

If you've dealt with this at all, you know that it can become very deep. Paul
teaches us here that one of the things you have to do to stop playing the
codependent game and to start trusting the God-dependent reality is to trust to
live life in a different way. See codependent is me trusting you and you
trusting me for the affirmation and direction that you need for life.

That's good to get encouragement, it's good to get advice from others. But our
trust, our ultimate trust has to be in God. If my ultimate trust is in another
person and not in God to meet the needs of my life, to give me the deepest
affirmation of my life, two things will happen.

One, they will use me. They may not even intend to do it, but if you're trusting
in somebody at that level, they will start to use you and sometimes they'll do
it very intentionally. They will use you to keep getting their needs met.

And number two, they will disappoint you because they're not perfect. So there
will come a day when you realize I can't depend on this person, I can't depend
on them for the kind of life that I need. So what do you do?

What do you do if you got caught up in one of these kind of relationships? Well
first it's deep enough, I'd encourage you to get together with a counselor, I'd
encourage you to get together with someone who can help you to walk through
this. But as you walk through this, there is a key truth in this passage to have
in mind.

There's a key relational truth in this passage all of us need to be aware of. In
order to get the Corinthians to break this unhealthy relationship, Paul was
willing to look like a fool. So we go back to where we started.

Many times to get a relationship to a place of health, someone must be willing
to look like a fool. Some of what we were talking about yesterday, when you
humble yourself, when you put yourself out there, when you're willing to be
misunderstood, when you stop playing it safe, when you take a risk, if you're
rejected by the other person, it leaves you feeling very foolish. You feel
foolish because it's outside your comfort zone and you risk feeling foolish if
the other person rejects you and leaves you standing alone.

So Paul here uses phrases like "I've lost my wits" or acting like a fool or
ashamed to say. What Paul is saying here is this, you're depending on them,
these false teachers, because they brag. So let me show you that I could brag
too if I wanted to.

What Paul is saying is you're so impressed with how strong they are with you, I
have to admit, I can't be strong like that. I'm not that kind of a person. He
puts himself out there.

Now what does this mean for you? If you're looking at a relationship that's
struggling and you say, "I want this relationship to work," the beginning point
is saying in your mind, "I know that no matter what happens, I have a God I can
trust in. I have a God who loves me.

I know that no matter what happens, I can trust in a God who loves me. " Let me
just say this whole sentence again. What does it mean to break through this
cycle of codependency?

It means to say in your mind, "I want this relationship to work, and I know that
no matter what happens, I can trust in a God who loves me. " Some of you need to
be able to say the first part of that sentence, "I want this relationship to
work," because you've given up. You've given up, and you think it's the other
person's fault, but you've given up.

You've given up because you don't want to look like a fool. You've given up
because it's scary to put yourself out there one more time. So maybe you, by
God's grace and power, need to say the first part, "I want this relationship to
work.

" Many of you need to say the second part, "I know that no matter what happens,
I can trust in a God who loves me. " You cannot control the other person. You
can't make them choose the right or the wrong.

You can't make that child choose to keep loving you or to do the thing that you
want them to do or to not go the wrong way. You can't force them to do that,
especially once they become an adult. You can't make your husband or wife choose
to continue to love you.

You can't make that friend turn around and continue the relationship. You can't
make that happen. And if you feel like you have to make that happen to be
affirmed in yourself, you're going to chase after them in ways that actually
chase them away.

You have to go after healing the relationship from a place of trust, not in the
other person, but in God. And when you have that kind of trust, you realize, "I
want this relationship, but I don't have to have this relationship for my
ultimate salvation. " There's something about that kind of trust that can start
to turn things around.

Paul is saying here, "If I wanted to get you to depend on me, I could do it
better than them. I have more credentials, but that's not the road I'm going
down. I want to get you to depend on God.

" And tomorrow, Paul is going to show us that he chose to serve instead of
choosing to impress others with all these credentials that he had. But today, as
we look at what he's taught us, these are some deep truths that I know I've got
to chew on in my life again and again and again to get back to how God wants to
work in my life and my relationships. So let's do that in prayer.

Let's consider these truths in prayer. Father, we get tempted to depend on other
people, to depend on them for our ultimate direction or ultimate source of love.
Only You can give us that.

So right now, in each of our hearts, just cement that truth in a fresh new way
and keep cementing it, strengthening it again and again and again in us. Lord,
relationships are tough. And I pray that the risk that we need to take sometimes
in relationships to look like a fool, that out of the love that you have for us,
out of knowing that you will never fail us, you give us the strength to take
those kind of risks, not having to chase after another person, because we need
the relationship to make us feel better about ourselves, but instead, Lord,
having the power to choose the relationship, to choose to keep loving, because
you choose to keep loving us.

We ask for this strength in Jesus' name, amen.