This transcript was generated by whisper.ai.

(upbeat music) Welcome to day two of our look through 2 Corinthians 2. We're
going to look at verses two to four today. And we're talking about what the Apostle
Paul teaches as concerning surviving misunderstandings between believers.

Yesterday, we looked at the fact that the first thing you have to do is clear
your conscience. You have to look at your own self, your own actions. Ask God,
what did I do?

But then the second thing you do is you look to the relationship and you clear
the air. Something has to be done to clear up the misunderstanding. So you clear
your conscience and then you clear the air.

Now, how do you do that? Well, in this also, we're going to look back a little bit
to chapter one, but also look at then what he has to say to us in chapter two.
To clear the air, you really have to do three things.

First, you have to face the misunderstanding. Second, you have to diffuse the
misunderstanding. Three, you have to explain your actions.

Actually, you have to do four things because the fourth thing you have to do is
express your love. You face the misunderstanding, you diffuse the
misunderstanding, you explain your actions, and you express your love. First,
you face the misunderstanding.

You face up to the fact that there has been a misunderstanding. Paul here faced
a personal challenge to his integrity. We talked about this a little bit last
week.

They had expected him to come and make a visit. He hadn't come and made the
visit that they expected. Because of that, they said, you just can't trust that
guy.

You can't trust his promises to come and visit us, so you can't trust his
message of the good news. Paul had planned a visit, but he had to change his
plans. They misunderstood why he had to change his plans, and so they challenged
Paul concerning this.

If Paul has broken his word, what's your guarantee then that he's speaking God's
word? Now, Paul had to face up to that, and that's a hard thing to face 'cause
it brings up all kinds of emotions in you when you face the misunderstanding.
But in order to clear the air, first of all, you have to face up to the fact
that there is a misunderstanding.

I have been misunderstood in this situation, and I don't know about you. What
really helps me to face the fact that I get misunderstood sometimes is to
realize the fact that I misunderstand others sometimes. It's embarrassing to me
to realize how often I have misunderstood someone else's motives.

I've misunderstood why they did what they did, only to find out later it wasn't
for that reason at all. It wasn't what I was thinking at all. And so the
humility to realize how often you misunderstand helps you to face the fact that
you might have been misunderstood.

First, you face it, and then the second thing you do is you diffuse the
misunderstanding. How do you diffuse a misunderstanding? I believe you diffuse
it by confession, either confessing the truth or confessing you're wrong.

If when you cleared your conscience, you realize I've wronged this person, then
you diffuse the misunderstanding by saying I'm sorry that I've wronged you. But
if you haven't wronged them, don't lie. Don't say I've wronged you if you
haven't.

Some people do that, and they think, well, that makes everything better all the
time. That's being codependent, not dependent on God. You diffuse the
misunderstanding by means of confession, and sometimes that means you have to
confess that you were wrong.

Other times it means you just confess the truth. You give the perspective of the
truth. Look, we're brothers and sisters in Christ.

We both want what God wants in this situation, and that's what Paul did through
this. He stood for the truth. He talked about the fact that he didn't plan
lightly.

Last week we looked at the fact that he said, I didn't say yes and no to you.
Our message to you is not yes and no. You see how they confused his yes and no
about whether he could come and visit them with the yes and no of the gospel?

So Paul said the yes is always there in Christ. He stood for the truth. In fact,
Paul says, don't rely on Paul.

You rely on God. You give people the perspective of the truth as you're
diffusing the misunderstanding. You confess the lie that maybe happened.

You confess the pride that maybe that you had. You confess the mistake that
maybe that you made. You confess the sin that maybe you committed.

Or you confess the truth before God together. You diffuse the misunderstanding.
And then you do a third thing, and I think this is the hardest thing.

You explain your actions. You explain what happened. Now, this is hard for me to
do.

I don't know about you, because this type of explanation, when you're the one
who's been misunderstood, this type of explanation of, well, this is what
happened comes with an attitude required, an attitude of humility. Because the
feeling you have when you've been misunderstood, the feeling you have is after
the way they treated me, they don't deserve the time of day, let alone an
explanation from me. Or this feeling, I don't have to explain myself to anyone.

Now, that's the path of the world, but love, humility, they take a different
path. It's not a matter of what you feel like doing or what you're being forced
to do. The issue isn't your pride.

The issue is a restored relationship. The issue is following Jesus. So Paul, as
you look through what happens in 2 Corinthians chapter two, he clearly explains
his actions.

He didn't have to, his conscience was clear. But he decided to, because he
wanted to restore the relationship. He wanted to survive the misunderstanding.

So he explained his actions. In chapter two, verse one, Paul says, so I made up
my mind that I would not make another painful visit to you. He's saying to them,
I didn't come in order to spare you because it would have been a painful visit
at that point in our relationship.

I wanted us to have joy in our relationship. So Paul explains it was actually
for their sake that he didn't come. You explain your actions, you explain why it
happened.

In fact, he's going to do more of this throughout 2 Corinthians explaining exactly
what happened. You explain your actions and then you do a fourth thing. And this
may be the most important of all.

You express your love. You hear Paul doing that in verses two to four. Listen to
what he had to say.

For if I grieve you, who is left to make me glad but you whom I have grieved? I
wrote as I did that when I came, I should not be distressed by those who ought
to make me rejoice. I had confidence in all of you that you would all share my
joy.

For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears,
not to grieve you, but to let you know the depth of my love for you. Paul says,
I didn't come to see you because I didn't want a painful visit. And Paul says, I
wrote you some things that were hard to say not to grieve you, but because I
love you.

In fact, in verse two, he says, if I grieve you, who's left to make me glad?
Paul is saying, it's not in my interest to grieve you. Why would I want to
grieve you?

I want to rejoice with you. It doesn't make sense that I'd want to grieve you. I'm
the one who wants to rejoice with you, Paul says.

I don't want to be distressed by you. I'm the one who wants to have confidence in
you, Paul says in verse three. I'm the one who wants to share joy with you.

So Paul writes to them and he says, you misunderstood. I acted out of love for
you. I acted out of concern for you.

Now, Paul was able to say that because it was true. If Paul had acted out of
pride, he would have had to say, I acted out of pride for you. You can express
your love that way too, by confession, but also saying, but that's not the way I
want to act.

I want to act in a new and different way. These last couple of days, we've talked
about misunderstandings. And I have to wonder if maybe you, a misunderstanding,
hasn't hurt you, maybe very recently.

What do you do when that's happening? Maybe it's a misunderstanding that
happened many years ago, but it still comes to your mind right now as I talk
about it. Well, you do two things.

You clear your conscience. First, you go to the Lord and say, Lord, here I am,
open-hearted, open-handed. Show me what I've done wrong.

Show me how I can make it right. You clear your conscience. And then you clear
the air.

You do these things that Paul did. You walk through this. Now, this is what you
can do.

We're hearing one part of this conversation, what Paul is saying to the
Corinthians. We're not hearing what they're saying back. We're going to find out
soon that they responded well.

Let's end on the end of the story. But the truth is, all you can do is what
God's asked you to do. The other person might choose to still misunderstand you.

They might want to misunderstand you because it fits their worldview somehow.
They might want to misunderstand you because somehow that misunderstanding has
become something they're holding on to to get them through the day, at least
they think it is. They might want to misunderstand you because they haven't
learned yet how to forgive, or they don't have the spiritual maturity to let go
of a hurt.

All you can do is what God has asked you to do. You can stop letting that past
hurt direct your present life by doing all that God's asked you to do. You can
survive the misunderstanding whether they choose to survive it or not.

Let's pray together. Jesus, you are misunderstood. You came to love us, to
sacrifice for us, and yet there were those who hate you and who hurled insults
at you, who ridiculed you.

You were misunderstood. You understand what it is to be misunderstood, and yet
you forgave those who hurt you, that you gave to all of us your very life. And
so Lord, out of your example, I pray that you'd help us to, instead of living
with a misunderstanding, a hurt, and a relationship, whether it started small or
started big, Lord help us to begin to survive some of those misunderstandings.

And Lord, if there's someone that I need to call today, if there's some
expression of love that needs to be given today, or explanation of the path that
needs to be given, give me, Lord, I pray, the humility, the humility in you to
do that. I ask this in your name, Jesus. Amen.

Tomorrow we're going to talk together about the power of forgiveness.