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Welcome back to our study through Matthew chapter 18. We're in day three today
and we're going to talk together verses 15 to 17 about what to do when another
believer sins against you. Yesterday we talked about what to do to have the
heart of God for other children, other believers.

Jesus very honestly then goes on and talks about the fact that sometimes we
struggle in our relationships as believers. So what do you do if a brother or
sister sins against you? Verses 15 to 17.

If your brother or sister sins against you, go and show them their fault just
between the two of you. If he listens to you, you've won your brother over. But
if he will not listen, take one or two others along so that every matter may be
established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.

If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to
listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. So
real clearly here God says here's how you handle a situation where another
believer has sinned against you in some way.

Something that they've said, some way they've treated you, some financial
transaction. They have sinned against you. How do I handle disagreement?

And Jesus specifically says here the kind of disagreement that arises out of
their sin against you with a fellow believer. Well there's a wrong way and a
right way. The wrong way is gossip.

Proverbs 16-28 says, "Gossip separates the best of friends. " There is no sin
that can tear a church apart quite so quickly as gossip. Gossip is simply
talking to others about a problem rather than talking to the someone that you
have a problem with about that problem.

Now the truth is we never call it gossip. We call it talking about the problem,
getting your opinion. We call it relating a spiritual concern or even our
favorite is I'm just sharing a prayer request.

The truth is if you're talking with someone who's not a part of the problem or
part of the solution, it's gossip. Now what's so destructive about gossip?
Gossip magnifies the problem rather than dealing with the problem.

When you start to gossip you've involved a lot more people. The problem is
bigger. You've intensified your feelings by talking to others about the problem
without getting any resolution, not getting to the root of the problem.

You've made the problem bigger emotionally. That's what happens with gossip. So
that's why it's the wrong way to deal with it.

The right way to deal with it is to confront it. I've got a problem with another
believer. The right way is to confront it.

Now let me share with you a couple of passages. First let me read again Matthew
18-15 to 17 in the New Living Translation this time and then let me also read
for you Matthew 5-23 to 24. Go back and read those verses again that we studied
earlier because it talks about what to do when a believer sinned against you and
what to do if you've sinned against a believer.

First if they've sinned against you again if another believer sins against you
go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and
confesses it you've won the person back but if you are unsuccessful take one or
two others with you and go back again so that everything you say may be
confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen take
your case to the church.

If he or she won't accept the church's decision treat that person as a pagan or
a corrupt tax collector. So that's what you do if they've sinned against you.
What if you've sinned against them?

Matthew 5-23 and 24. If you're presenting your sacrifice to the altar in the
temple and suddenly remember that someone has something against you leave your
sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person and then come
and offer your sacrifice to God.

In every case you go to the other person. Matthew 18 you go to the person with
whom you have a problem and you talk it out face to face. The majority of the
time I've found the problem is resolved right then and there.

If you realize that someone has a problem with you are you supposed to just sit
back somehow and wait for them to come to you? Well the Bible says if you've
done something to hurt someone else you go to that person. You go and talk to
them.

So in every case God makes you and I personally responsible for doing something
about solving the problem. I go to them if they've sinned against me. I go to
them if I've sinned against them.

If we were like perfect Christians we'd meet in the middle every time. Either
way it's our responsibility to go and resolve the conflict. Now just note here
that Matthew 18 when it says to go and resolve it and then bring it before the
church it is about sinning not about having a disagreement.

The fact that you see something differently than someone else does not mean
they've sinned against you. It might feel that way but it doesn't mean that. Of
course this first step in the process it works even when it's a disagreement.

Go to the person even when there's a disagreement but you don't take it to the
church over a disagreement. Now this process in Matthew 18 I have shared it
literally hundreds of times with people as a pastor. There have been many many
many times when someone has come to me and asked me to confront someone who they
say I think they've been involved in a sin.