This transcript was generated by whisper.ai.

I want to welcome you to our study of Matthew chapter 19, first day of our look
through this chapter. Twenty-first week of our study of Matthew, looking at this
wonderful chapter of teaching from Jesus this week. As we start this chapter,
we're going to hear what Jesus has to say, His teaching about divorce.

As we hear these words of Jesus, "I know very well that some of you have been
hurt by divorce in your life, in your family. I know that others, as you hear
this, you're on the edge of a divorce. You're considering whether you should
leave your husband, leave your wife.

" And as I lead you in a study through what Jesus taught here, I realize that in
one sense Jesus is talking to both, two very different needs. And in listening
to the words of Jesus, I know that He would not want to heap on more false guilt
in your life. He'd want you to take a look at the reality of what happened.

But I also know that He would not want to hurt in any way those who are fighting
for their marriages. If you've been through a divorce, you might have questions
like, "Was it a sin? " You need to know.

"Can I be forgiven? " I want to know. If you're considering a divorce, you need
to know, "Is it right or is it wrong?

What does Jesus have to teach about it? " Well, Jesus has something to say about
all of this. And I can't sort out who needs to hear what because of family
background, because of what you've been through.

But I know that Jesus can. That's the great thing about teaching the words of
Jesus, is He's the one who sorts it out in our hearts and helps us to hear what
He has to say. So in light of that, let me read what Jesus taught about divorce
beginning in verse 1 and down through verse 9, chapter 19.

"Jesus had finished saying these things. He left Galilee and went to the region
of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed Him and He
healed them there.

Some Pharisees came to Him to test Him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to
divorce his wife for any and every reason? " "Haven't you read," He replied,
"that from the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said, 'For
this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,
and the two will become one flesh.

' So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let
man not separate. " "Why, then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give
his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?

" Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts
were hard, but it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone
who divorces his wife except for marital unfaithfulness and marries another
woman commits adultery. " Now, as Jesus talks to the Pharisees about this, it's
important to understand that there were two views of divorce in Jesus' day from
two schools.

In one sense, they're coming to trap Him. They're not asking about divorce. They
just want to trap Him.

Whatever He said, there would be disagreement from one of these schools. There's
the Hillel School, which said you could divorce for any reason of displeasing
the other person. Now, in that day, it was always the husband who divorced the
wife.

Women were not given the right to divorce in that day. So for any reason, the
husband could just say the food didn't have enough salt on it. That's literally
one of the examples that was given.

I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you, and the divorce would be over. Then
there was the Shammai School, which said you could divorce only for sexual
immorality. And they come and they start to talk to Jesus about this.

And their question is, when is it lawful to divorce? And Jesus' answer is,
you're asking the wrong question. He says, "Have you not read?

" He is saying to those who are supposed to be scholars, "Let's go back to
kindergarten. Let's look at what God's Word says. Let's look at the Bible, first
scroll, first page.

Look at what God says. This is God's plan, He's teaching them, that we're
talking about, not just a legal requirement. " Well, they have a question about
that because Jesus says, God says that Moses permitted divorce, but that was
only because you had a hard heart.

So they have a question about that. Why did God permit divorce? And Jesus says
it's because of the hardness of people's hearts.

When Jesus talks about the permission that was given here, He's in essence
saying, God gave you an inch and you took the whole yardstick. God gave you an
emergency escape hatch and you've turned it into an easy exit. And it wasn't
that way from the beginning, Jesus said.

From the beginning, Adam and Eve, God had created the male and female, and He
meant for them to be married for life. So what does God think of divorce? Well,
we know in the book of Malachi, the Bible says God hates divorce.

Why does God hate divorce? Because it hurts His children. God hates anything
that hurts His children.

God never commands a divorce, He never commends a divorce. Does He ever allow a
divorce in His Word? Well, yes.

Here in Moses, we're told that a divorce was allowed in some cases because of
the hardness of heart. But what about under Jesus? Jesus teaches us about it and
He says a divorce is allowed when someone commits adultery in the case of sexual
immorality.

He doesn't say it's required. He says it's allowed in the case of committing
adultery, sexual immorality. As we walk through this, obviously talking about
divorce like this, we could write a whole book on it.

We're spending just a few minutes. But I'm praying that God speaks to your heart
in these few minutes, as Jesus only can. There are four Christian views of what
Jesus is talking about here of divorce.

Some people believe in no divorce and no remarriage, never get a divorce, and
obviously then because of that, even if somebody divorces you, you can't help
it. You can't have a remarriage. It's very hard to justify that scripturally,
but there are some people who believe that.

Some people believe in divorce, but no remarriage, that a Christian can get
divorced, but Jesus said you can't get married again. If you do, you're
committing adultery. Some people believe in divorce and remarriage if the
divorce was for adultery or desertion.

And others believe in divorce and remarriage under a variety of circumstances.
And that can even get to the Hillel School sometimes where those circumstances
are very, very small things. What does Jesus teach?

Not what are our views, but what does Jesus teach? That's the question here.
When you look at what Jesus teaches about this, and you think about your life
and the relationship that you're struggling with, or you know somebody who's
struggling with, you have to take the words of Jesus and place them into your
life and live those words.

You don't live the words of some friend who says to you, "Oh, it's okay. I did
it. She did it.

He did it. It's okay. " And if Jesus says to you, "I can't remarry after a
divorce," and you know it's not your guilt speaking, you know it's not some
other Christian who's spoken to you, you know it's what Jesus is saying to you,
then you better listen to what Jesus is saying.

Even if you believe for other Christians, they could remarry after there was a
divorce that happened, somebody imposed upon them, the divorce that happened
because of abandonment or adultery. For you, it may not be right. That's why
when we talk about this issue, you have to get to what Jesus is saying to you.

As I read questions people asked about this even this week, many of the
questions were, "What does the church believe about? " And the truth is, it
doesn't matter what the church believes. It matters what the Bible says, what
Jesus says, and what matters is how you're going to live that out in your life.

Some of you have already been through a divorce, and one of your questions is,
"Will God forgive a divorce that I know was a sin? " Of course. Of course.

God is a forgiving God. There is no God like you. You forgive those who are
guilty of sin.

You don't look at the sins of your people who are left alive. You will not stay
angry forever because you enjoy being kind. You will have mercy on us again, and
you will conquer our sins.

You will throw away all our sins in the deepest part of the sea. That's in Micah
7, 18-19. You may realize as I'm talking about this, it may be bringing up a
painful memory that you have sinned.

You sinned against your husband. You sinned against your wife through that
divorce. Don't hide from it.

Don't deny it. Confess it. God will forgive.

Let go of that guilt. You may realize that someone sinned against you in a
divorce. Forgive them, or sinned against one of your children in a divorce,
maybe the hardest.

You forgive them. You have to let go of that bitterness. We talked about that
last week, the importance of that.

Some people say, "Well, if God forgives, then can I get a divorce and then ask
God to forgive me of my sin? I might even know what's wrong, but boy, I'm in a
lot of pain. Can I get a divorce and then know God's going to forgive me?

" That assumes that the sin is going to be less painful than the marriage that
you're in. And if you take a close look at God's Word, you see you're kidding
yourself. You're not escaping your pain when you do that.

You're choosing your pain, short-term pain or long-term pain. Sin can bring
instant gratification, no doubt about it. Sometimes when you say, "I'm going to
be free of this marriage," you feel the most joy you've felt for years, because
you're out from under the pain.

And of course you feel that way. But obedience, it might bring pain for the
moment, but it can bring long-term gratification. You only have to talk to a few
people who've been through a divorce to hear if there's any way that that
marriage can be saved.

You save that marriage. Save that marriage. A believer in Christ may have to
divorce.

The person may abandon you, but a believer in Christ should never seek a
divorce. Now, the disciples at the end of this teaching, because they're so used
to the Hillel School that you can divorce for almost any reason, they say,
"Well, we should just not get married then. If you can't divorce easily, you
might get trapped in a relationship.

Why would you even get married? " Many people today even think that. And then
Jesus has this strange discussion with them at the end of this.

In verse 10, listen to what happens. The disciples said to him, "If this is the
situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry. " Jesus
replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it's been
given.

For some are eunuchs because they were born that way. Others were made that way
by men, and some have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The
one who can accept this should accept it.

" The disciples are saying that divorce was so common in their culture. The
thought of marrying without divorce being permitted was outside of their
thinking. Jesus talks about them saying, "It's better not to marry," and he
talks about eunuchs.

He talks about men without sex organs. That's what a eunuch is. And he says,
"Some people are born that way.

Others have been made that way. It was a common thing to do that with a eunuch,
a servant in a king's household to make sure that they didn't rape or become
sexually involved with anybody else in the household. And some," he says, "have
done this by choice.

" But he says, "This is very difficult. Don't say this," he says, "that you may
not want to marry because very few can accept it. " Paul reflects the same
things when he says, "Some have been called to singleness, but not very many of
you have been called to this.

" So Jesus points us back, in these strange words at the end, he points us back
to the value of marriage. This is what we're going to talk about tomorrow, how
valuable marriage can be. But as we end today, what about those of you who might
be considering a divorce or you know someone who is?

What do you do? You've tried everything. The only thing that's going to work is
focus on God.

I know that. The only thing that will work is focus on God. It's that old
picture of a triangle.

You and your husband or wife are at the bottom of the triangle, and at the top
of the triangle is God. And as you go up the triangle, the closer you get to
God, the closer you get to each other. You're never going to get to each other
at the bottom of the triangle on a human plane.

There's too much in the way. There's too much history. But as you get closer to
God, you will get closer to each other.

In fact, that's the only way to find true intimacy in a marriage. Now they may
or may not choose to get closer to God. That's their choice.

But you can choose to get closer to God. And whatever they end up choosing in
the end, that's going to be the right choice for you. So let's pray for that
right now.

That's the one thing we know we can do today. Lord, whatever pain we're going
through, whatever pain someone we love is going through, we pray for ourselves,
we pray for them, that they'd get closer to you even through this pain. Of
course, we want the marriage to be saved, and that's what we ask for.

But we know, Lord, that we cannot force another person to make a choice. They
may make a choice that you disagree with, we disagree with. They may make a
choice that comes out of their selfishness and sin.

But we don't have to make that choice. Lord, we can choose to get closer to you
day by day. And whether they change or not, we're deciding right now.

We're praying for our friends, we're praying for our kids, that they'll make
that choice to get closer to you. And as that choice is made, Lord, I pray
there'd be the invitation in that choice, the grace in that choice, to begin to
bring a new grace into this marriage that's hurting and to save it. I pray for
those who have been through a divorce, Lord, that you bring the healing of your
forgiveness.

God, thank you that you're a forgiving God, that you don't look to the past, but
you cause us to be able to look to the future. And Lord, when the pain comes,
when the hurt comes, you're there with us, walking through it with us. Lord,
thank you.

Jesus, thank you for teaching us honestly about marriage and divorce, telling us
the truth. Help us to live your truth, to embrace your truth. We pray it in
Jesus' name, amen.